the undefined free


Free-spirited is a term that many people, myself included, tend to use loosely. The textbook definition is simplistic, "An independent or uninhibited person". What I have found, however, as I began doing my own research, was that there is a widespread misconception and misunderstanding of the personality type. I do, for what it's worth, consider myself free-spirited. Lets begin with my own interpretation. I hate confinement- literally and figuratively. Restrictive clothing and jewelry in general will leave me feeling as though my soul has distinctively gotten heavier. Its almost as if I need to be continuously conscious of my entire energy field. Any blockage and I am immediately in a state of unrest. I believe that this stems from the fact that my contentment depends on my level of self awareness. In order for me to maintain balance within my world, I must be able to understand life as it is handed to me, absorb the universe's energy, and emit my understanding as positivity for myself and those around me. In the figurative sense, I want to experience life by my own understandings and I can only do that by existing where my soul finds peace and happiness. This... makes sense to me. The misunderstandings appear when you forget that everyone doesn't interpret their life and actions the way that you do & this misunderstanding goes both ways.

Criticisms of free spirited people often come from those closest in their life, loved ones and especially partners. There is an unspoken book of rules that majority of the world lives by. A certain situation must yield a certain response. This expectation is what keeps the balance among those that are not free-spirited. Indecisive, untrustworthy, flighty, flaky, and selfish are common adjectives used to describe anyone that does not follow this perceived natural flow of life. I have been referred to as each.

On any given day of the week, you may find me working on something new. Monday, I may be consumed in an art piece that I consider to be my life's greatest masterpiece- and I will have momentarily committed to continuing my path towards defining my life through art. By Wednesday, the feeling has left, and although this may be the time when many buckle down to complete what they began- I can not if it is not in my soul. What my soul can not perceive of, my body can not indulge in. I must wait for this feeling to arise again. Prior to the return of my artistic endeavors I will have eased my way through many life-defining journeys, but know that you can never define me by any that I am not currently experiencing, this is where you misunderstand me. I am nothing more than what I feel at that particular moment and I can not be characterized beyond my now.

Along these same lines, no two situations are the same for me. My interpretations vary. The remaining factor for me is allowing my soul to decide what may be the best choice. This extends through everything- from what I want to do tonight to whom I want to spend time with. Relationships can either suffer or flourish under these conditions. The people that I have in my life as constants understand me- even if they can't relate. oddly enough (and moreso confusing for someone who has never understood the free spirit), these constants are an important part of life for me and although my engagement with each waxes and wanes, my appreciation and love for them never will. And at times when life calls for someone to leave my life, my optimism never leaves as I know that people are placed in my life for magnificent reasons. How can one mourn someone who was never meant for permanency in their life? Holding onto something impermanent is counterproductive for the spirit. Let's relish in the beauty that is us now, so as to not hold onto regret whenever we may part. Is this a selfish understanding of life? Perceivably so. And I know that the automated response to someone who approaches life this way is hurt, feelings of neglect, or thinking that I care any less. If you could catch a glimpse into my being, you would know that I am consumed with feeling. Not void of them.

I will always fly by the seat of my pants, I won't own more than I need right now, I will follow the path my soul is destined for and love unconditionally on my journey. Permanancy and structure may inhibit that. At times when I may seem as though I am distant, I have never left completely. But trying to hold me will only create resentment, the caged bird. Acceptance and understanding will allow me to be 100% content and authentic. Freedom grounds me. This is where we differ.

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Who is meek?

Welcome to the Mind of meek.

I am a queer, southern-born, bay area livin healer trying to make sense of the world around me but committed to starting with the self.

Things I value most include my community, delicious gf food, conscious consumerism, laughing until my belly hurts, Netflix documentaries, and conversations about health and healing in communities of color.

Thanks for following my journey.

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