brick walls

November 18, 2006

 

Brick by brick

we begin to separate ourselves;

our emotions, our hearts, our minds

in attempt to protect ourselves

we build walls

shielding us from hurt, vulnerability, regret

those things that make us human

we build walls

to keep our emotions contained

our hearts maintained

and our minds sane

we build walls

brick by brick

until we, ourselves, cannot distinguish what lies beyond it

we build walls

some bricks made from our past hurt

resisting redundancy

others from fear

formed by what is alien to us

there are also those bricks molded by pride

because who wants to be the fool?

so we almost effortlessly harbor those feelings

keeping them close

we build walls

no, dams

to keep the floodwaters still

barricading tears from revealing our weaknesses

our frailties

we build walls

at times from ignorance

our beliefs are our beliefs

do not judge my fears

or recognize my bad habits

at those times when I am blind to them

secure in my ways

we build walls

to pass the time

idle minds make way for possibilities

thoughts become actions

fear clouds your perception

and you become too human

too imperfect

we build walls

making sure there are no cracks, no faults

no breaches

too busy being focused on the construction of our withdrawal

to notice that

it would only

be our walls

that crumble

not our being

if we become exposed

to that which we have worked so diligently

at trying to avoid

and even though

we build walls

maybe

we can find it in ourselves

one by one

brick by brick

to remove the apprehension, cautiousness, doubt

confront that which we fear

and be

an imperial whole

Which will you choose?

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I am a queer, southern-born, bay area livin healer trying to make sense of the world around me but committed to starting with the self.

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